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Spiritual Relationships Question - Growing Apart

My boyfriend and I were friends before we started dating. He was 16 and I was 18 We both liked each other before we just had an big age difference. We were "perfect" for each other in the beginning and he began to grow up and mature and find interest in things that I didn't care for. I know i should support him in everything. We have fought A LOT lately and I can't seem to figure out why. He never listens to what I say and he says that I never communicate well enough for him. I tell him things that come across as if I were telling him that everything he does is wrong. It isn't it is just the same thing over and over again that I keep having to tell him and he just can not fix it. What do I do? I want this relationship to work badly.

Comments for Spiritual Relationships Question - Growing Apart

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Allowing change to happen
by: Mashubi

Dearest one,

I understand your desire to make your relationship work. All relationships grow and change over time, and enduring relationships have the ability to adapt, flow and grow as each partner grows. This is not something that can be forced, but can be encouraged with honesty and the sincere desire on each partner's part to let go of attachments and the need to hold on to the past. You need to be truthful with yourself and with your partner. There are several resources that may be of help to you in this process.

This article by Julie Redstone addresses a similar question, and you may find her answer helpful in your situation: When Marriages Change

Also this new resource can give you support in your relationship: Meditations on Love, Relationships, and Letting Go.

With love and blessings to you and your partner,

Old Advice
by: Jennifer

I went through exactly the same thing six months ago. He was changing in ways that I was not, and some things I thought were ridiculous and hoped that he'd become who I once knew.
So in essence, I no longer felt secure in his love as he pursued other things, and he no longer felt respected as I tried to lead the relationship.
We ended up breaking up, which was fine, but the next four months were horrible, because I kept going back to him and trying to lead us back together. It was the most painful and selfish thing I'd ever done.
At any rate, the best advice for women is this: when he breaks up with you or wants to do something different, be cool. That's it. Just be his friend, be cool with it even if it doesn't make sense. Don't support the fact that he broke up with you, support the fact that he wants to focus elsewhere. He'll always remember that and admire that.

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