pray for an answer

I have been married for 35 years in the past 10 years my husband and i have been having problems due to lack of attention to my needs and his alchol consumption.I asked if he could spend sundays with me to go to church visit family go shopping or just watch movies but he said no he would rather drink with his brother.I always considered myself a devoted wife i work cared for my children my home and him never had thoughts of doing what i am doing now my children are grown and felt so alone always by myself because he is always drinking with his friends and brother. I saw an old friend whom i had been engaged to before i married my husband i broke up with him to marry my husband because i adored my husbands family and wanted to help my husband become a better man for his parents he had gotten into alot of trouble during this time his mother had cancer and died a year after we got married and iknow our marriage made her very happy took care of his aliging father which i have no regrets because i loved them both. My friend always loved me and never did stop he never married hoping that someday i would come back to him. Now that we have found each other i spend time with him and his family on the weekends we share very happy moments together. He wants me to leave my husband and share whatever time we have left in our lifes together but at the same time he also feels guilt that my husband will feel the pain that he felt when i left him. I feel very happy when im around him and his family (mother, father, brothers and sister)they all adore me and i feel the same about them.There are no sexual contact all be do is listen to music watch movies talk laugh and say goodbye at the end of the evening, something that i wanted to do with my husband and he refused to give me the time. And even then I find it very hard to leave my husband even though we have no communication with each other we share the same bed and house but we have run out of conversation its like living alone.I dont know what to do i never in my life thought my life would come to this i feel so confused my confusion even give my thoughts of suicid because i dont want to hurt anyone not my husband not my children and not my friend. he dosent deserve to go through the pain he went through 35 years ago because what do i do my god why has my life come to this I truly need your prayers so that i can do the right thing what god would want me to do i truly dont want to hurt anyone so i feel the only person that needs to give up is me. all i wanted was to live my life in peace and love and die knowing i had planted a wonderful seed in life